The trucks are hot. But not every truck ever made was good at trucking stuff. Those of us who buy trucks like this can haul things, tow, go off-road and have a commanding presence on the road. If you want to do truck stuff, these are the worst trucks to buy.
But over the years there have been trucks that have been bad at the truck stuff. Here are six that might do some things well, but not the trucking stuff.
The GMC Syclone was great in a straight line
Back in 1991, this was one of the fastest cars you could buy. GMC was selling the Sonoma compact truck at the time and needed to inject some cool into the brand. So, they did what Buick did a few years ago: GMC took a Sonoma, lowered it, painted it black, and stuffed a turbocharged V6 with a factory rating of 280 horsepower. But she can’t draw. You could only put a few hundred pounds in the bed, and it was too low to go off-road. But it was fast and it was great.
Lincoln Blackwood was like a navigator, without practicality
Lincoln Blackwood only survived one year. Luckily. It was a sort of Ford F-150 with a shortened Lincoln inlaid grille, lots of sticky chrome leather, and a fixed tonneau cover. Yes, its a bed. But no, you can’t really use it as one. The bones of this truck were an F-150, but all the advantages of the truck were removed because the bed cover only appeared, and did not turn off. Sure, you can put the tall stuff back in there, but not the tall stuff. In 2006, the Lincoln Mark LT will show what a good Lincoln truck would look like.
The Hummer H2T was mostly useless as a truck
In the early 2000s, Hummers were the coolest SUV you could buy, especially the H2. They looked tough and backed up their looks with a borrowed platform from a GMC Sierra truck. But when General Motors decided to make a truck out of an SUV, it didn’t work out. Not only did it look funny, but the “bed” size was 2’10”. That is. While the SUV version has a lockable space for your things, the H2T has just enough room for an in-bed cooler.
The Chevrolet SSR is what happens when a manufacturer actually tries to sell a concept car. In 2000 Chevy launched the SSR and it was great because it was a convertible truck. Except it wasn’t. Like Blackwood, it has a useless bed. Like the Syclone, it was too low to run off-road. It can accommodate two people only. The first examples were impeded using a small V8 boat anchor. Regardless, they’ve found a market today with collectors who love owning an American-made convertible that can keep up with BMWs and has a 4.6-foot-high bed.
In the 70s, you could buy a Cadillac truck from your local dealer
Back in the ’70s, if you loved El Caminos but wanted the luxury of a Cadillac, you were in luck. The Mirage was a Cadillac Coupe DeVille with a bed that you can buy at your local dealer. Traditional Coach Works made the truck that wasn’t traditional. The Mirage featured the best Cadillac leather, chrome and wood of the era, as well as the 500-cubic-inch monster V8. Interestingly, TCW wasn’t the only company seeing the trucking potential in the luxo barge. Several companies made Caddy-caminos in the 1970s.
Related: Why You Shouldn’t Buy a Truck Made Before 1999