Mum ‘annoyed’ that best friend ‘won’t lose weight’ for wedding

A mum has been left feeling annoyed after her best friend has “made no effort” to try and lose weight for her wedding.

The mum, who has set her wedding date for April 2023, chose her best friend to be her maid of honour. After getting engaged a year and a half ago, her best friend said she would lose weight for the wedding to fit in a bridesmaid dress that only went up to a size 16.

Since then, the mum has been left feeling “stressed out” and suggests it’s “quite obvious” that the friend is now “even bigger” than when they bought the original dresses. Taking to Mumsnet’s popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) thread, the mum sought opinions on whether she was right to be annoyed with the friend, she titled her post: “AIBU To be annoyed that my best friend/maid of honour won’t lose weight for my wedding?”

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The post read: “I
‘m expecting to get a bit hammered for this, but here goes…I got engaged about a year and a half ago, and we set the date for April 2023. Almost a year ago, myself and my bridesmaids had a couple of trips to go dress shopping. We saw a bridesmaid dress that we all absolutely adored, but it turned out that they only did it up to a size 16. My best friend who is my maid of honour, is a bigger girl so it didn’t seem like this was going to work.

She added: “However she said, off her own back and unprompted, that she was going to lose weight for the wedding anyway and so we should get them. I told her she didn’t need to do that but she insisted it was fine so we bought them. Fast forward a year, and she’s made almost no effort to try and get the weight off. I haven’t raised it with her at all and left her to it, but having just been away for a girls weekend, it was quite obvious that she’s now even bigger than when we bought the dresses (and bigger than she’s ever been) and doesn’t seem to be moderating her eating at all.

“The wedding is now basically 9 months away and I’m stressing that I’m going to end up having to find (and pay for, because I’ve already bought the current ones) new dresses. I probably sound like an absolute cow, but AIBU?”

Fellow Mumsnet users were keen to share their thoughts on the situation, with the majority suggesting the mum was being unreasonable. One said: “You’re right you do sound like a cow. You shouldn’t have bought dresses that didn’t fit and by a company that doesn’t even do over a size 16.

“Hardly your best friend if you didn’t consider her. This is all on you. You have no right to be annoyed with your friend for being fat and not ‘moderating her eating’. That’s a really crass comment actually! You’ll just have to get her another dress or ask her to purchase her own.”

Another added: “If you actually value this friendship take the pressure right off. She was over optimistic about losing the weight, and may well have felt pressured to say she would to please you. For lots of people the stress of that and feeling she’s letting you down could very easily cause weight gain rather than loss.

“It’s just a dress. It can be altered or a new one found. Surely your friendship is more important than that.”

A third said: “You think she has chosen to be overweight? How would you feel if your “friend” did this to you. Took you dress shopping with a load of skinnier people and made you feel lesser because the only dresses they have are too small. She probably felt she couldn’t say no!”

Some Mumsnet users didn’t agree though, and took sides with the mum and her dilemma. One said: “Can you just get it altered? I’m sure a competent seamstress will have some ideas of the best way to do this?”

A second said: “I don’t think you sound a cow but buying the dress was a mistake. Could you buy just get another dress a month or so before your wedding in the right size even if the dress doesn’t match the other bridesmaids dresses? I think that’s what I would do.”

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